Chalet Hosting is a rewarding job. One which enables thousands of young brits to spend up to 5 months in the Alps partying away their savings and, of course, improve their skiing/snowboarding ability to a dangerous level.
If you are one of the millions of punters planning a week’s skiing next winter, we have some great holiday tips, which will help you get the most out of your trip!
How to seriously piss off your Chalet Host – a masterclass
Lets start with some basics;
1. Keep your dietary requirement a secret.
Are you gluten free? Vegan? Lactose Intolerant or do you just not like red meat? DO NOT put this on the booking detail form. In fact, just keep it to yourself until about five minutes before your first Chalet meal is served.
2. Complain about your room.
Even if you were 100% informed about your room size, type, price and arrangement – complain directly to the Chalet Host. It is entirely their fault and they should architecturally alter the building to fit your needs. Failing that, tell them to evict another group of guests from their larger, much more expensive room to compensate for your traumatic first experience in resort.
3. Bringing your Kids? Let them run wild!
Chalet Hosts are highly trained childcare experts so once you arrive at the Chalet let your kids run rampant. You don’t even need to sit them down for dinner, just let your host play treasure hunt round-up while their dinner is going cold in the kitchen. Oh, and of course your little darlings know best about THEIR dietary requirements – so if they are screaming “I HATE CHICKEN NUGGETS!” even though they’ve loved them for years up until this point, stand by them.
Ok, now for some slightly more advanced tips;
4. Bring your own food – they never have enough.
A full continental breakfast with porridge and full english options, followed by a freshly baked cake and then a hearty three-course meal, often served with canapés and a cheeseboard is definitely not enough food to keep you going for the week. Either pack an extra bag full of snacks, cheese and sandwich fillings or go to the local super-market and buy copious amounts of yogurt and other fridge-filling munchies. Hand all of this essential survival food to the Host to put away neatly in their fridge and be sure to let them know that you will come and go as you please.
5. Hot Tubs clean themselves.
Even though your Host will implore you not to take glass into the hot tub, they are just following their company rule book. Everyone knows Hot Tubs clean themselves. If you smash a glass in there after coming in late from a night on the town it’s just a myth that the Host will have to close the spa, drain, deep clean and re-fill the hot tub the next day to make it safe again. Go ahead! Go mental!
6. Raid the fridge after a night out on the town.
Heading out for the evening to enjoy the resort nightlife? Great idea, and remember there is a kitchen FULL of food for when you come back. Head into the fridge and make up a full-blown cheese board with bread, crackers, fruit and anything else you can find. No need to clear up the mess, that’s what they’re there for!
Extra tip: Chalet hosts often make desserts for the following day and leave them in the fridge. Eat them all.
7. Drink all the red wine and then spew it up into your toilet bowl, sink and bath tub.
Red wine, once regurgitated can be a very difficult substance to clean off surfaces. So, on the first night drink a belly full of red wine and then puke it up all over you bathroom. Catered Chalets offer daily cleaning so when you come home after a well earned awesome day of skiing, your bathroom will be beautifully clean again!
Well, we certainly hope you have found our masterclass to be shreducational. We wish you the best of luck on your ski holidays next year! Happy shredding!
This blog was written as a result of many stories from around the Alps. Chalet Hosts are wonderful people and they always love and enjoy their guests, but how boring would life be if we didn’t share our mis-fortunes online?