Ever since Britain voted to leave the EU there has been a lot of talk about our beloved Ski Industry becoming far too expensive due to the drop in our currency value. Brexit has made a lot of you fear for your futures in the Alps, but we’ve got some great options to make some cash to help you pay for your next winter season.
The Seasonnaire’s Brexit Contingency Plan
1. Play GTA V Until You Are Confident In Robbing A Bank – $$$$
GTA is brilliant. It has been subtly training us to be criminals for years and finally we have a use for it. Play it until your fingers fall off if necessary, then use the exact same tactics to knock over the biggest bank in your hometown. Sorted.
2. Offer To Wax Everyone’s Skis and Snowboards Before The Winter – $$$
According to the internet there are around 1,100,000 skiers and snowboarders living in Britain. If you wax every single one of their skis/snowboards before winter at an average of £5 a pop you’ll be able to buy your own ski resort and give passes to your homies for free.
3. Start A Government Petition That Makes It Law To Be Given Free Lift Passes and Accommodation – $$
Government Petitions are there for situations like this. To maximise your chances make 100 petitions of a similar nature and share them 1000 times each all over Facebook.
4. Go to Hogwarts and Learn a Spell That Conjures Money Out Of Thin Air
According to inside sources, there is a spell taught in the Dark Arts called “Abra Kadabra Make It Rain”. We have yet to see it in action but it’s worth applying for enrolment just in case.
5. Build a Flux Capacitor, Go Back In Time and Convert All Your ££ into Euros.
Since Brexit the £ has dropped in Value dramatically. If you were to go back to a couple of days before the vote and convert all your pounds into Euros, travel back and convert them back to pounds, wait for the the pound to level out and then buy your Ski Pass you’ll save about £3. BARGAIN!
6. Eat Dust.
It is a well know fact that eating Dust not only saves money but keeps you fit and ready for the slopes. Food costs money, lift passes cost money, what is more important?
7. Convince Your Best Friend to do a Season, Then Charge Them for Ski Lessons at Your Local Dry Slope.
Best friends are there for a reason – to take advantage of. Even if it’s not this, there is always a way to squeeze money out of them because they love you.
We hope you enjoyed this incredibly insightful, helpful guide to Brexit. The reality is that we are, in fact, not approaching armageddon. We have at least two more years of EU membership before the shit truly hits the fan. Have faith in the big names and continue your plans to live and work in the mountains.
If all else fails, revisit this post.